We talked for a couple of hours last night, and among the topics was her thoughts about my ex and the boys.
Why does my ex call me from the grocery store and ask what type of steak is the best to buy?
Why does my ex call and leave a message that I should buy the kids some gloves and toques because it will be cold next week when I'm away?
Why does it seem that I am responsible for the kids most of the time in terms of housing and clothing them, shuttling them around, and looking after them?
Because I cannot, and do not, depend on my ex to do so. It's as simple as that.
I worship fairness. But I have learned, slowly and painfully, that I cannot expect fairness. If I approach things by asking myself what it is I want to see happen, and am I prepared to do what is necessary to see it happen, then I am going to be happier. If I want the kids fed and clothed, and I can do that, and I do that, then what else should concern me about the situation? Nothing.
Well, that's the goal, anyway... to be able to let go of expecting things from other people, especially people that traditionally don't live up to expectations.
No expectations.
It's a good mantra.
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