I was halfway planning on deleting the blog entirely at that moment.
I had no time for anything but work and existing commitments such as soccer.
I had no prospects for dating, and a certainty that it would be impossible to find someone that I would stay with because of how picky I am.
I had no one to turn to, as the role of my primary emotional counselor among my three closest friends is an ex-girlfriend who has been too busy to get together with in over a year.
I couldn't call the other ex-girlfriend I've been wanting to call because I'm sure that it would lead to either rejection for me or me being the cause of problems for her.
I could take this all because at least I had acquaintances that like me, through soccer.
Then my soccer parents turned on me. I had one man who I didn't even know come up to me and berate me; later figuring out that it was at least partially due to something I had no control over didn't make me feel any better. I then received an e-mail from a parent that used to coach with me, that I had invited to play with me in co-ed as I thought we were friends, and he also tore a strip off of me.
I felt that I had little left of the social progress I had made over the past few years, and little hope for the future. I just wanted to pull out the few remaining plugs, close the tenuous connections and complete the blackness that was closing in on me.
Of course somehow my friend/ex-girlfriend was online and available this particular night, and suggested I seek a real counsellor.
I don't think that is quite what I need. I need more people to talk to and interact with that are actually in my life, not hired to be in my life. Not that counsellors don't have value, but that's not what I need.
On other fronts...
Tonight I arranged a meeting with my parents where we all sat down around a table and discussed the issues, one of them being that they hate my assistant coach and his wife, who is our team manager.
Some parents were wholly on my side in the matters that concerned me.
It turns out that a couple of parents were basically instigating a lynch mob, trying to recruit other parents against me. Some went along, others told me they couldn't believe it - these folks were "crazy, absolutely crazy".
The problems are not resolved, but at least I've tried to throw some water onto the fire.
Maybe cause someone is reading....and care how you are?
ReplyDeleteI was halfway planning on deleting the blog entirely at that moment.
ReplyDeleteI had no time for anything but work and existing commitments such as soccer.
I had no prospects for dating, and a certainty that it would be impossible to find someone that I would stay with because of how picky I am.
I had no one to turn to, as the role of my primary emotional counselor among my three closest friends is an ex-girlfriend who has been too busy to get together with in over a year.
I couldn't call the other ex-girlfriend I've been wanting to call because I'm sure that it would lead to either rejection for me or me being the cause of problems for her.
I could take this all because at least I had acquaintances that like me, through soccer.
Then my soccer parents turned on me. I had one man who I didn't even know come up to me and berate me; later figuring out that it was at least partially due to something I had no control over didn't make me feel any better. I then received an e-mail from a parent that used to coach with me, that I had invited to play with me in co-ed as I thought we were friends, and he also tore a strip off of me.
I felt that I had little left of the social progress I had made over the past few years, and little hope for the future. I just wanted to pull out the few remaining plugs, close the tenuous connections and complete the blackness that was closing in on me.
Of course somehow my friend/ex-girlfriend was online and available this particular night, and suggested I seek a real counsellor.
ReplyDeleteI don't think that is quite what I need. I need more people to talk to and interact with that are actually in my life, not hired to be in my life. Not that counsellors don't have value, but that's not what I need.
On other fronts...
Tonight I arranged a meeting with my parents where we all sat down around a table and discussed the issues, one of them being that they hate my assistant coach and his wife, who is our team manager.
Some parents were wholly on my side in the matters that concerned me.
It turns out that a couple of parents were basically instigating a lynch mob, trying to recruit other parents against me. Some went along, others told me they couldn't believe it - these folks were "crazy, absolutely crazy".
The problems are not resolved, but at least I've tried to throw some water onto the fire.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDelete