Recap

I think I partially know why it was a "meh" date for me. The Mercedes-driving hot blonde insurance copywriter reminded me of the musician. There was nothing wrong with the date, or the newly-met person I shared it with, but the reminders pointed to an almost perfect past relationship (or at least one that my recollection of had been polished by passing time) I could have back if I exerted myself.

The insurance company girl was eloquent, intelligent, a writer and a painter, self-sufficient financially, and well-maintained. The musician was eloquent, intelligent, creative, self-sufficient by purpose (did her own plumbing, for example), and also well-maintained. If it weren't for the smoking, and, more importantly, the regularly late nights she kept, I would probably still be seeing her. It wasn't that the two of us didn't mix, it was just the lack of time we had together that made the relationship not work.

I saw the musician last Friday night, playing at a pub managed by my step-brother, and after her set finished we hugged, chatted, hung out for awhile. When I held her, I could feel the immediate urge to take her to bed. This wasn't a feeling of sexual need, but an emotional one. She had once said that we fit together perfectly, and to me this was a perfect description of our physical relationship. Being with her was effortless.

It just didn't happen often enough.

Sigh... I do miss her, even as I intellectually recall the reasons why the relationship could not work.