Crying

I cried in front of my son today.

I thought about his age, and the extreme narrowness of his current experience - video games and soccer, and not much of the soccer. His musical breadth was playing Guitar Hero.

When I said, "you know, I thought by this age the three of us would be playing music together," I felt the tears well up. My laissez-faire style of parenting has its side-effects.

The dog reflexively comes to the kitchen counter at the sound of a knife slicing through vegetables or fruit, and I think to myself that it is a bad habit. I have more than once almost tripped over the dog whilst I am carrying a pot of boiling water or a knife. I have created a problem with my permissiveness.

The children ignore my attempts to suggest activities other than video games, ignore my hopes and dreams for them, ignore my instructions on how to avoid confrontation and arguments without compromising themselves.

I have created a problem with my permissiveness.