Questionable

She's been gone since before Christmas. She returns to town late last night, and this morning we're talking about the how we can get together when she wraps up work in the mid-afternoon. She says she'd rather be rolling around in bed with me than have lunch.

My first mental response is, "Aw geez, that's going to take up a lot of time."

That can't be a good sign, can it?

Reader S said:
Seriously, I feel that way sometimes too. I think it can be attributed more to a mismatched libido than a lack of feelings.

Reader A said:
I think we all feel this way sometimes. I don't think it is a bad sign always...if you think it all the time that is definitely not good.

The Author said:
I just can't seem to get a handle on if there is a reasonable ratio of "that's what I like" to "ummm, why am I here again?" moments. You would think by now I would have some idea of what to expect in a relationship.

At this moment I just have a lot of jumbled thoughts. I'm tired and have started having the same queasy stomach that afflicted the kids last week.

I think of the possibilities, such as taking advantage of her love of board games, and look forward to them, but then those moments don't arrive... Tonight I found myself questioning what my main attraction to her is. She bought several things on her trip (shoes, boots,etc), has shown them to me and told me to tell her nice things about them, but I can't muster kind words when I think they're ugly. When I withheld comment, she launched into a criticism that my attitude was sexist, that my preference was for women to wear things that were uncomfortable and prevented function. I simply said that I felt misjudged, but not up to defending myself.We do communicate, which is good. I also don't think that most of her criticisms of me are without basis, and it's not quite a daily problem.

Tonight I felt like visiting the old online dating services though...

Sigh.

I don't know.