Lunch

I've been a bit frustrated socially lately.

The soccer world has been treating me well, giving me opportunities for contact with my fellow humans, but outside of that I've been falling short of my goals.

I have four people that I have gone to lunch with semi-regularly in the past few years, outside of dating. Recently it has been impossible to find willing participants, however.

One, who I've been friends with since I was 15 or so, has been working a lot in another city. Before that, his local work, and projects on behalf of other friends kept him too busy to meet very often.

Another, a friend of almost 20 years, whom I met though work, has two children that over the summer kept him unavailable. I still hope to have lunch with him this week.

The musician, as you know, is a recent entry to this list. I should give her a call.

Finally, that leaves a girl I dated for a couple of months four years ago, the one who prompted my entry into blogging. She's been busy at work, and has had a challenging year between her family's health problems and a relationship's end. I've tried on many occasions to ask her out for lunch, for varying reasons. Sometimes it was because I wanted to, for once, be the one listening and helping in a time of need. Sometimes it was just because it had been so long since we'd gone out for lunch. Sometimes I probably needed to talk. Sometimes it was persistence. Sometimes it was in hope of keeping a friend I valued so much. The answer was always, not now, I'm too busy. It's not personal, it's just a bad time.

Sigh. I'm busy myself. There's a lesson in all this, right?

I guess all I can do is let my feelings of frustration go, and keep trying to make sure I remember to push myself to stay balanced - stop overworking, and start returning to shoring up the parts of my life that involve exercise and interacting with people.

Death comes to all of us, probably sooner than we're ready for, and all that matters is not letting too many moments of possibility pass by us, unfulfilled, before that time.