Deterioration

It's funny, or would be if I could form an emotion right now, much less a thought.

Her assumption that "[I] have a lot going on..."

So many Friday nights home alone, even without the over tired fog that was my reason for turning down a coffee offer tonight.

Alone, alone, alone.

That's OK though because I'm not even sure what I'm writing here. I'm just so tired. I've been in bed since 9. Why can't I sleep?

La la la.

I make no sense in this state do I? Sleep deprivation is like drunkenness.

Oh well... post button where are you?

I miss girls, plural. Girls I've dated, I mean. Girls I know I shouldn't want to see again. I've been told use things like "you can't go back", "there's a reason you two broke up", or "it won't work in the long run". But I miss you girls out there somewhere, probably seeing someone else, or not even remembering me...

I miss girls.

How stupid am I?

I am off the wagon of conscious thought.

God, I need sleep. And someone.

And sleep.

I tell myself "Forget about girls. Never going to happen. Alone always. Get over it. Work. Get through each day. Forget about whatever it is you're hoping for, you're a fool."

See what comes out when you listen to your inner fearful voice?

Stop now, sleep.

Sleep. Please.