Weekend

I did manage some sleep last night, so today was a better day.

I'm sure that I'm still on the road to hell, whatever my intentions, but today was a better day.

The masochist is in love.  It may be a different kind of love than is typical or it may not.  Irrespective of this, and although I'm happy enough with the current status quo, the end will come one day, sooner rather than later.  Our lifestyles will not mesh.  I cannot be comfortable wearing fetish gear at conferences, nor participating publicly in the closed feedback loop of this particular subculture.  The whole atmosphere makes me introverted, and I have started to slide backwards relative to the direction where I want to go - happy, care free, social, outgoing.

So... these are the current thoughts.

The questions to be answered are when and how will it end, and what will I be left with afterward.