24 hours down

J broke up with me almost two weeks ago now, but this is the first time I've gone 24 hours without being in contact with her somehow.

I still haven't quite understood my reaction. I never felt like I was in love with her but I liked her. I was generally happy -- she was fun to be with, shared some interests with me, was smart and knew things that I wanted to find out more about, had some great experiences... she's a very nice girl with perks. She felt roughly the same way about me, she said. We talked about "us", and we had always expected to break up sometime between a month and a year after we got together, thought we'd be friends afterwards... but the breakup happened sooner than I expected, and I didn't take it as well as I thought I would. I didn't do anything crazy, but I miss her a lot, and despite my plans not to, I made a weak attempt to get her back. I realized yesterday that I needed to cut myself off, even if she didn't have the heart to (told you she was a nice girl).

So I sit here thinking about her, hoping that her trip to the dentist wasn't any worse than it had to be, wishing I could do something for her, hoping she's not sad that I'm not, and just... trying to let it all go...

I need to ponder this some more, but sleep is more important for now... more analysis another time...