Destiny

Mark Radford is alive, and working as the attendant at a car wash. To be fair, he might be the owner or manager for all I know.

17 years ago, I made a decision that defined my entire life since. I joined a couple of North Keg co-workers named Hal Shrenk and Michael Taylor in a band called 96 Tears. Now, this was A-list band in that it was well-known, and played the better bars across western Canada. It was also known 96 Musicians. This was because of the number of players in the band that came and went, and 96 is probably undercounting.

I was in the band for only a few months. Long enough to have a lengthy list of experiences, and to meet the future mother of my children.

I don't remember precisely how I was the one invited to join the band; perhaps there was a shortage of keyboardists or something. Keyboard wasn't even my main instrument, or even my second. So I spent 2 weeks quickly learning the band's repetoire, and sequenced (that's like lip-synching with an instrument) the two or three songs I had trouble with. All in all, I did pretty good.

I was replacing a keyboardist from Winnipeg named Trevor. Trevor was a bit of a dick, so he fit in well with Mark, a.k.a. "Stick", whose band it was, and "Lou" the guitarist. Our first stop was in small-town northwestern Ontario, a 30-hour non-stop drive from Regina, and while there Stick and Lou found the old keyboardist's shaver in their gear. They were nice enough to send it back to Trevor, but not before shaving their asses with it. Like I said...

All I remember from the first gig is an image of the bar, and the beds, which were little more than two planks with a lumpy mattress. Well, that and the glee on their faces as they shaved...

The next stop was Thunder Bay, a hilly city with bats, strippers, and porn. As we were setting up, a bat flew into the bar and kept circling and diving at "Stick". Eventually a well-aimed broom got rid of the bat.

Our sound man was a dead ringer for Phil Collins. I can no longer even remember his real name because we always called him Phil. Phil and Hal had a contest while we were there, who could eat an extra large pizza the fastest. I believe Hal won that one...

The most memorable part of the week in Thunder Bay was during the daytime. Mike and I were up on stage goofing around with the sampler and laughing at the sounds we came up with. Which wasn't appreciated by the performers. You see, the band played at night. During the day, it was a strip club. You really don't want to hear laughter when you're pole dancing. Sorry about that!

...to be continued...