Recategorization

It surprises me sometimes how effective mental recategorization of relationships can be. I tell myself what I want to think, and I generally do.

There are three women that I have successfully transferred from the significant other/lover category to the "ex but friend and co-parent", "ex but can't go there", and "ex but still a close friend" categories.

The most noticable aspect of this is, of course, the libido. Do I think about sleeping with these women anymore? 99% of the time, no. :-) Now you're thinking, that's not 100%, why the hedging? Because they're female and I'm male. :-)

The success isn't in that there is no recognition of the fact that they're female, and they have physical attributes that cannot be ignored. The success is in quickly putting aside the thoughts that observing those physical attributes cause. If the thoughts are put aside as quickly as, let's say, noticing that the Chapters cashier's blouse buttons are all opened, and that slight little A-cup curve is... ummm... what was I saying again?

*grin*

Ok, it the thoughts about your ex-girlfriend are shunted as fast as those about an 18 year old stranger, it's a success. That's what I was saying. :-)

Case A: X said she needed to get laid. That brought absolutely no response from me, even inside my head or groin. Success!

Case B: I ran into C in the park a few weeks back. My hand accidently brushed across her ass as we were jogging together. Electricity! But quickly put aside, even though our conversation indicated that she might be single again soon. It is indeed over, even in my head.

Case C: I think I was pretty good on that the other night. Ok, she still smells good, and ok, yes, I peeked and she's definitely still female, but... revisiting the question of can you remain friends with someone you dated, I think yes is still the answer.

As long as you can effectively recategorize.