Messy

Too much. Just because something is put in front of you doesn't mean you should eat it.

26 hours, 3 dates. Sex on two of them, kissing within a hour of meeting someone for the first time on the other.

I can't quite properly explain why I feel so deflated about the experience.

I took the masochist out on a real date.  I accepted Mercury's invitation for lunch and a f*ck, as she put it.  I went on a last minute date with a girl I met online, Birdie, who turned out to be a friend of J's and recognized me from her past.

It was the ending of the time with Mercury that probably did it.  She spent so much of the evening alternating between berating the way I cooked things and telling me how sweet I was.  I didn't feel like a sweet, good person, and it was my behaviour that caused the feeling.

I have stop writing now, to go to a follow-up date with Indirect, then get home and get some rest before going to see the masochist tomorrow night.

Nothing about this situation is comfortable, but I think I'm leaning towards skipping the rest and just hanging out with the masochist for the foreseeable future.

It's all a mess.