Plowed

Although it's the warmest day we've had in awhile, it is a blizzard out there, and that captures my state of mind to an extent.

In some ways yesterday was a good day. My boys serenaded me in a brief phone call in the morning. My mom e-mailed her birthday wishes to me, probably in order to not wake me up in case I was having trouble sleeping. The prof sent me a unique series of e-mails to with me happy birthday. My brother actually called me, which I don't recall ever happening before. My boys and I went out for lunch. My maternal grandparents called me and wished me a happy birthday. Finally, the musician took me out for supper, then we went back to her place where I received an unexpected lengthy massage in addition to, um, other things. I'm not used to being treated that well.

There were some things I secretly hoped for that I didn't get, and some things that sadden me today. My father didn't call, which isn't surprising in light of how few calls he has ever made to me. J is out of town and out of contact, which has been inexplicably bothering me the last few days. Yesterday I continued to have a mental debate about the morality of going on a date with the prof when I'm sleeping with the musician. Today I found out that I upset B because I didn't tell her that it was my birthday, and now I'm mopey. Plus there are my usual dysfunctions that I dwell upon endlessly... sleep, sex, work...

And there's no one around her to slap me and tell me to quit worrying so much.