Backburner

Summer is over.

I did a lot that was new to me, from yoga to kayaking to rappelling to the music festivals.  I actually met some women instead of being alone all of the time.  If nothing else, my imaginary unwritten bucket list was shortened.

But, summer is over.

It has been a couple of weeks or so since I deactivated my online dating profile, and stopped really looking.  The contacts have trailed off, and I only continue to correspond with one person whom most likely will be a friend going forward.

I do wonder if I unconsciously but purposely put the attempts to develop relationships on hold when I know I will be travelling soon.  It feels like a pattern, but I refuse to actually think about it or research it to the point where I know if it is or not.

This is me at 44 and a half.  In some ways I continue to grow, in some ways I have yet to peak, but there will only be one concern that returns to my mind, one concern returning sooner or later, and that concern is about if and when I will again share my life with someone in a meaningful way.

And summer is over.